So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
