I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
