May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
