did you get engaged???
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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