they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
