You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
