But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
