I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
