can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
