I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
