Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
