Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Barsexuality is the new black.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
