I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
