I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
