just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
His nipple licking is glorious
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