can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
