Old men and throwing up are my life now.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
