Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
