I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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