a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
