Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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