help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
