dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
