youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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