I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
