I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
