I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
