I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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