It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
