I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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