i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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