what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
