it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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