She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
