I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
