Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize