Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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