I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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