He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
