my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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