If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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