Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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