So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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