If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
