Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
