um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
