highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
