if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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