Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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