I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
