we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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