everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize