Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
