Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
